Alkaline smiles

jessica simpson and billy corgan together? this seems like something you would say in lieu of “when pigs fly” or “when hell freezes over.”

i was admittedly a bit miffed when i first heard the news. billy corgan is after all one of my first loves. but it’s just so bizarre. after thinking about it, i think they should just smoosh these pouty lips

together and stop singing. or maybe keep it confined to a log cabin in the mountains. i could deal without another ‘the future embrace’

it’s really just jealousy though, billy corgan. if it doesn’t work out for you, i’m still yours.